Holly's Tip - Don't Mistake Expectations For Goals

Reading Holly Lisle's weekly newsletter always gets me thinking.  So I'm going to start attempting to organize my thoughts, and posting them here.  You can get your own copy of Holly's Newsletter by signing up at her site HERE.  This week she talked about goals vs. expectations, and how important it is to be able to tell the difference.

"Those things that you control are your goals. Those things that depend on ANYONE else but you are hopes, dreams, fantasies, or expectations, and it's important that you realize that they can NEVER become goals, no matter what you do.

If you do not control the means for creating and defining your own success, you are embracing fantasy."

This strikes a cord with me because I keep thinking other people are messing up my plans or goals.  When the truth is, if there's any way another person possibly could mess up my plan, it wasn't a plan - it was an expectation.

 

So, my personal goal for myself this week - is to set actual goals =)  Not that there's anything wrong with having an expectation - as long as I'm aware that's what it is.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

~Colette

Lonely (Poem)

Everyone says 29 isn't old, and part of me realizes that ... while another part feels like I'm a good portion of the way to turning into one of those crazy old cat ladies ... Do I feel more lonely as I get older?  I don't know.  But I felt lonely today.

An aching, lonely, cold, dark road
Bent low beneath a painful load
But moving on, one step, then two
No other path, naught else to do

Thanks for reading.

~Colette

25th Post ... Thoughts & A Short Poem

Hitting 500 posts on my other blog has made me keenly aware how little I post here.  I initially thought that creating this blog would kind of kick me in the butt & keep me being more creative (outside of my nails) but I've found that a lot of what I put on here is the stuff that I'm less secure about, which makes it harder to find things I'm comfortable putting out for anyone in the world to see, where the stuff I put up on MSLP is stuff I'm mainly totally confident about, and maybe that's the real difference between them, something I've had trouble defining before now.

This blog has also taken on a slightly different direction that I thought it would ... I've fallen off both drawing & story writing, and I've never posted any story pieces because that's mostly what I have - pieces of stories, that make sense to me because I see all the pieces as well as what's still in my head, but which might not make sense to anyone as a standalone.  But it has served as a ground for ranting, which is usually accompanied by at least a little poetry.  And aside from rants, some more introspective posts like this one.

I subscribe to a newsletter by Holly Lisle, and if you've never heard of her I would strongly encourage you to check out her website, http://hollylisle.com/, in particular the Newsletter section, which I look forward to receiving every week.  She's one of my favorite writers, and the subjects that she chooses to discuss always strike a cord with me.  One of this week's emails dealt with basically taking things as they are.

Holly is currently dealing with some medical problems, and the email talks, not about getting better or worse or dying, but:  What if this is the new normal - what if this is as good as it gets?  How do I do what I love if THIS is all I have to work with?

Whatever your "this" happens to be, how do you work through it?  I'll admit I have a lot of things to distract me, health-wise, job-wise, life-wise, and I don't always do a good job of working through them, of finding the time to fit in the things that I love and that make me happy in between all the bullshit.  But every now & then I have a moment of clarity, and I think "I CAN do it.  This is HOW I'm going to do it."  And often it doesn't last, one way or another, but sometimes the more positive objectivity stays with me even after I fall off the wagon.  If you haven't guessed, I'm going through one of those phases.  Re-working my life, re-working my schedule to try & structure it so that all the important things, all the things I love, have a place.  This blog should be one of those things, as I intended it to be.

My birthday is in less than 2 weeks.  Maybe that's what's prompted this latest change of heart, although I'm not sure if that's really what it should be called as I am trying to more truly follow my heart.  To reach for my dreams instead of wallowing in misery.  To deal with the now, with what I have to work with right now.  To accept my "this" even as I strive & believe that it is NOT all that I'll ever have to work with.

Lost my way, re-found the path

Found peace within the aftermath
Do what I love, do what I need
And do it well - I will succeed

Holly always ends her emails: "Write with joy."  I think that I do - I just need to do so more often.  Of course, although I do enjoy my own work, writing is also for others.  So thanks for reading.

~Colette