Poem: Today Is...

When I used to have a writing class, in high school, we would start every day with a freewrite.  The teacher would draw a starter phrase out of a hat, and we would write.  It's something I've tried & failed, other times tried & succeeded & then fallen off again.  But as long as I try again I don't feel too bad..

Anyway, the starter that I've been trying to use lately, repeatedly, is "today is..." to get myself really thinking about each day, and see if I can find a way to write about it.  So. 

Today is...

A perfect day, a flawless moment

A bright memory etched in time

A gorgeous thing, a wondrous span

That deserves preservation in rhyme

I think I'm going to (try to) stop picking apart my work.  It doesn't serve any purpose really ... certainly not the purpose of this blog.  This is my place for writing ... good, bad or indifferent.  Not for picking apart said writing.  I do that plenty already ... probably too much.  Picking myself apart after the fact can tarnish  the pleasure that just writing it in the first place brings ... so I'm going to concentrate on that joy of writing more.

Thanks for reading.

~Colette

Poem

Well, in an effort to write more (my notebook has been untouched for 2 weeks) and to post more (asI haven't posted here in 3 weeks) in addition to trying to be less of a perfectionist (since this is a rough first draft right out of my head) I have a poem (or poems?) to post today:

Waiting to be seen

And wanting to be heard

Loneliness so sharp

I can barely form the words

Holding hope inside

Holding pain at bay

Hoping that in time

I'll have something else to say

Not even sure if these 2 go together, but they came out together.  Not even sure if it matters if they go together LOL ... but no point in having this blog if I don't post.  Even if I'm shocked when I get more than 3 hits a day, the point is to have it out there.  Just the possibility that eyes other than my own may look on my words & ... something.  See what I'm trying to say, feel what I'm struggling feeling.  Feeling kind of jumbled at the moment, if you can't tell.  But a little less stressed than before I poured it into words.

Thanks for reading.

~Colette

Poem: Time

I have been writing, actually almost every day, just not anything lately that's fit to share.  So on the one hand I am living up to my resolution to write more, while at the same time slipping behind on my resolution to post more often here.  So I dug into my "archives" and found this.  It's over 10 years old, from 1998, but I still like it =)

Time

Time moving, Time passing, Time winding along
Like the words and the verses of a sad, ancient song
Time going slowly and Time flying by
Flashing right past in the blink of an eye
Or Time standing still, a sudden freeze frame
Seeing ghosts of the past floating, calling your name
Falling into Time's tunnel, and looking around
Time passing, tick-tocking, the one lonely sound
And you know, looking into Infinity's flame
That Time's constant, eternal, and forever the same

I actually just found a large bunch of old poetry, so I'm going to be going through it as I have time.  So hopefully more to come ... if I don't let Time fly away & get the best of me LOL.  Thanks for reading.

~Colette

Poem

My parents are arguing ... which they do a lot.  I suppose odds are high that Mom will eventually read this, although I'm not sure how much attention she, or anyone, pays to this blog, but it's really hard to listen to them & not let it effect me.  I broke up with my ex because we argued too much, and sometimes I wonder how, sometimes even why, my parents are still together.  It makes me want to cry.  The arguments themselves, what they argue over, the fact that most of the time I feel me being here doesn't help anything either, even though I'm contributing, even though I'm keeping food on the table I wonder if they'd be better off without me still here.  I may not be the stereotypical 30-year old in the basement, but I'm creeping up on that horrible milestone from my 2nd-floor bedroom.

I was in an OK place, almost a good place when I came home, now I feel myself slipping into a darker place.  A good place for writing LOL.  Ironic.  Or something.

They argue, squabble, speak hurtful words

While everything unsaid also goes unheard

True path untrod, true love unheeded

Unwell, unwanted, in the end, unneeded
Such comfort in a lover's arms

Until that comfort turns to harm

Intentionally push, push, close to the edge

Until you are pushed, pushed over the ledge

No warmth in the heart, no peace in the home

Although I am so lonely, I would rather be alone

When there's so much inside, I feel like I need a way to pour it out, and even dark poetry that I'm not totally happy with is a better outlet than what I used to do.  Venting/ranting helps a little too, which I didn't used to have an outlet for.  So even though under normal circumstances I might consider this TMI to post, I'm going to do so as a catharsis.

Thanks for reading.

~Colette

Poem: Restless

Even yoga didn't settle me today.  I feel edgy & restless & unhappy for no particular reason.  I mean, I have a roof over my head, a job, food for dinner, all that shit you're supposed to appreciate & not take for granted ... It's not enough.  Not today.

Nothing wrong ... and yet, and still

My sorrow overcomes my will

My bitterness does overflow

& pulls me with it's undertow

Edgy, restless, no surcease

No hope left ... damn sure no peace

Sometimes I sound like a broken record even to myself.  LOL, how many times can I write a poem like this?  Lots more probably.  Unfortunately.  Oh well.  I'll pour myself a drink & do my nails & try to get to bed early & maybe feel better in the morning.

Thanks for reading.

~Colette